six days left

so remember when i said squander before? that's the opposite of what i meant. i meant live in squalor. as in, eat out of trash cans and such.
english is hard.
i'm leaving in six days. have added more books to the list but haven't taken too many of them off. holy shit.
when i'm on the phone indoors, even in (maybe especially in) a place with which i'm already very familiar, i unconsciously walk around and pick stuff up and put stuff back down, end up in rooms that i don't normally enter, inspect objects closely and notice things about them that i never noticed before. i do this a lot at my parents' house, because it's a place where i'm comfortable but at the same time is not my own, and my mother redecorates a lot and likes to keep things where they belong. so when i'm on the phone i occasionally find myself, as if waking from a dream, on the other side of the room with a picture frame in my hand.
debating whether or not to start wearing my contacts again for london. i probably will. but i've justified my discontinuation of the habit by interpreting my view of the world as symbolically Monet-like. everything sort of blurs together; people seem more beautiful, their scars blending in with the rest of their faces, and leaves melt into one another. seeing everything through lenses is as shocking as it is beautiful.
anyway.